Tomatoes

tried to Kill me

But Banjos Saved My Life

Yesterday I was sharing about going through an overnight sleep apnea test and how the lack of locks on the doors and having someone watch me all night, would have been impossible years ago. I was reminded of my first colonoscopy about 40 years ago, where I insisted on hugging a book throughout the procedure. Through many years of counseling, particularly with the spiritual aspect of the Immanuel Approach developed by psychiatrist, Dr. Karl Lehman, I am now able to do many things with peace and joy, that I formerly couldn't do, as a survivor of childhood incest. Over many years, I also found comfort by singing in choirs and playing the piano with groups. Now I am very glad for Adaptable Outdoors that helps me enjoy fishing and kayaking since I have become disabled. Thank you, Keith, for your play which I saw at Rosebud a few years ago. I hope to see it again and share the experience with friends.

I remember my dad playing the banjo. He wasn’t a professional musician, but played at home and at Bluegrass festivals. That sound carried with it laughter, comfort, and a sense of home.

2017 was a strange, heavy year. Dad died in the spring, and by the autumn, I had my own battle to face—breast cancer. Everything felt emptier, quieter. The banjo was gone, and with it, the soundtrack of my childhood.

This summer, I went to the Fringe and saw Keith perform. His music caught me completely off guard. There I was, surrounded by laughter and the hum of the crowd, and suddenly—I was back at home with Dad playing the banjo. I cried, overcome with a wave of grief, love, and memory. It was one of those moments when the past and present collide, where joy and sorrow sit side by side.

I cried, not just for the loss, but for the continuity—the way music can reach across time, touch a part of us that nothing else can, and remind us of those we’ve lost. That day, Keith’s music wasn’t just a performance. It was a bridge. It was Dad playing again, if only for a moment, in the room of my heart.

When I was 70 I met a man that was near 85 and he told me his story of cancer. He said 20 years ago I was given 18 months to live. He said he was included in a study of 400 men with his type of cancer and he was the only one of the 400 that survived. I was as you might imagine totally amazed, so I asked him what he thought the secret of his success was. He said that doctor was a good man and he did his best with all his patients; but there was one thing he forgot to tell me, he never told me which 18 moths would be my last, so I determined live them all and let the calendars figure out the rest. I tell this story to every person that shares their cancer journey with me, so that they can decide for themselves which 18 months they want to be their story ending.

I was a Paramedic for almost 35 years and I saw a lot of death. Lost my Wife of 42 years to lung cancer in 2013 and I wanted so much for her not to have pain, not to be sick, not to die but the only thing that was mine to have was to learn from every minute we had together. To do better to be better and to listen to peoples stories and share what I have learned.

Pat was a hospice nurse and she gave us a master class in how she wanted to die. She wasn't sure I could do what she needed because I was one of this life saving paramedic guys. In the end it is always our honour to serve and she thanked me for the job I did for her. With every patient that I got to serve it was always my honour to make their journey just what they wanted.

I met my now husband, Matt, about 23 years ago.  We were just friends, and we were part of running a youth church together. We were friends for a very long time.  Eventually we started to date and shortly after we got engaged.

About a month after I got engaged, I got a phone call from my doctor to come in.  I previously had cancer when I was 18 so obviously, I knew that meant a big thing. I went in and I was told I had cancer in 4 places in my body, Non- Hodgkin Lymphoma, and that I would have to have a bone marrow transplant.  

Very soon after I thought, I don’t want Matt to have to go through this with me so I decided that I would give him a way out. But he fought to stay connected to me and pursued me all the way and we fought it together.

Part of this treatment involved the very real risk of me not being able to have kids. We faced that fear together and went to faith, believing that God is a God of miracles. We decided to move our wedding date sooner than anticipated so that we could be married while we were going through treatments. 

We brought our marriage date up early; he was just totally my hero.  

Our wedding was beautiful and all the more meaningful with everyone knowing what we would be stepping into after our honeymoon. Hand in hand we were determined to step past this fearful diagnosis and the dread of the treatments ahead. 

I had to have intense chemotherapy so we knew we pretty much would have to have our honeymoon in the hospital.  Shortly after we got back from our short honeymoon, we got the call that we needed to come into the hospital to be admitted for the cancer treatment. We called this season ‘going in for the cure’. But we knew it wouldn’t be easy. 

While we were in the isolation ward of the cancer hospital, Matt slept on the couch beside me and was with me every step of the way. He took a semester off school and took much time off work as we didn’t have family nearby. He prayed for me every day and we read scriptures about healing out loud. All the doctors and nurses soon got to know us and started to call us ‘the newlyweds’.  Within days, I had lost my hair, but not my hope. There were many days of extreme pain and anguish, but we went through it together. My body got very weak, but my faith got stronger than ever. 

Even being bald in with wires sticking out of my chest somehow Matt still looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world.  He was my hero and a true gift from God. Every step of the way he fought for me, he prayed for me, and we were all the way just believing that God would protect us to be able to have children one day.

Now I have been in remission for 18 years and within 5 years of being married I was able to get pregnant and now we have 2 beautiful babies, our miracle babies!

A hard but good foundation for our marriage to trust in God and trust in each other.